Friday, December 31, 2004
Life's Lessons When You're Six
The apartment building was set up with an adult section and a family section. There was a swimming pool in between and sidewalks that linked the sections. The sidewalks had a small step or two every now and then as they meandered through the complex. This is where I did my roller skating. The fun part was to see how fast I could get going and then leap over the steps without landing on my knees. Sometimes I'd land very graceful, my arms outstretched in triumph, almost like crossing the finish line. Other times though, I was a tangle of legs and arms, usually a raspberry on my chin and blood on my knees I still have plenty of scars to show my failed attempts at this. But I did master it. Being airborne, almost like moving in slow motion, waiting for my metal wheels to come in for a landing was very exciting.
This is also where I learned to swim. My recollection is vague but certain things stand out. The man who taught me to swim was a very large and muscular black man( the reason I mention he was black is because we lived in an all white neighborhood). He held me so I was flush with the water, his arms gently supporting me as he tried to get me to paddle with my feet and cup the water with my hands and push it behind me. That's all I remember about that. But I became an avid swimmer. I think I wrote about that in another blog.
This is where Jim came into our lives. My mother was dating an Italian man, Joe was his name. He used to work for the carnation milk company. I think it was carnation. He used to drive up in his milk truck and bring us ice cream and milk, and always chocolate milk for me. Those orange and cream popsicles. Cottage cheese. I remember he wanted my mother to marry him, but she kept saying no. He wasn't responsible or something.
Yes, Jim walked into our lives, I think he was a more promising suitor. He had a good job, was older more distinguished. I think he had money actually. I remember attending the wedding, in my mind the wedding took place in a school auditorium or something, it seemed they were up on a stage exchanging vows. Probably just a church. Anyway next thing you know we have a moving company, Mayflower, I remember this because the pilgrims came to America in the Mayflower. And we were headed to someplace south called Poway. Jim got a job at General dynamic. He helped make some part of the Apollo space craft. We lived with my aunt and uncle and their six kids, there was 13 of us living in a 4 bedroom house. I have a picture of me at this house trying to ride a bicycle. It's listed under "my bike & me" on my home page. It was very crowded I'm sure, but there were a lot of kids to play with. After a time, I don't know how long we were there, we bought our own home in Poway on a street named Tobiasson. It was a very hectic time. My step dad was kind of an odd character. Now, that's not just my opinion, I heard the neighbors say plenty. He bought a lovely piano for the living room, then he proceeded to change all the light switches in the house. He couldn't tolerate the clicks when he was playing. He really did play beautifully, and I was quite proud of him. I was also feeling pretty happy that I finally had a dad, I didn't have to live with the stigma of being fatherless. Jim couldn't stand alot of things, and we had to change alot of things about the way we lived. I wasn't allowed to eat Cheerios any more, he thought they were reguritated newspaper. So instead I was fed fried eggs everyday. We couldn't get by on just pasta and potatoes either. Everyweek we were subjected to wonderful delicacies like cows tongue, liver, yummy things like that. I tried hiding things under my knife and fork, in my sleeves, he always caught me. No, I still detest tongue and liver, actually I'm pretty much a meatless eater. We always had a disgruntled stepdad at the table. One instance clear in my mind is when my brother David was dished up mashed potatoes and he did the ultimate no no, he put his fork into them facing down. More of a stabbing motion. Next thing, we're playing duck duck goose at the table. My mother, brother and sister were yelling, I was probably sitting there crying silently. Because my sister Laura loved the word "bitchin'" she had to spend alot of her time in her room. But hey, he could play the piano like nobody's business. I tended to leave the door open when he was playing while I roller skated on our driveway. Thinking back I wonder why the noise of my skates didn't bother him.
I didn't realize Jim had a drinking problem until my mom freaked out at him one day. She was yelling at him about "could've started a fire", and things like that. He used to put on one of those long flannel nightshirts for bed everynight, he even had a hat that went with it. Things went on for awhile like this until one day when I was roller skating on the driveway and he was putting things in his car. He had one of those small jobbies, an MG, white convertible, very cute. I was very oblivious to what was going on around me, but it caught my eye that he was putting his stereo into the car, I asked where he was taking it, he replied "it's broken, needs to be fixed". Then he started carrying clothes out and tucking them in his car, again I asked him, "what are you doing with those Jim", which he replied, "they're going to the dry cleaners". Then it was shoes, and on and on until he drove away. I didn't realize I was never going to see him again. I don't remember attending the funeral but I heard the gossip, probably listening at someone' elbow or eavesdropping on my mom. He'd apparently shot himself in the head one day. Much later when we went to his apartment I was stupified to see pictures of naked ladies on his wall, centerfolds I guess is a better term. The chapter of Jim in our lives ended, just like that. Amen.
¶ 12/31/2004 10:10:00 AM
