Where to next That is what I'm asking myself?  ¶ 12/30/2005 05:19:00 AM 2 comments

  The Four Stars in My Sky What a sorry, sorry blog writer I appear to be. Do you ever feel like so much has gone on that you wouldn't know where to start if relaying things to people that you just leave it all out? Well that is sort of the case here but not quite.

I have been anything but a blank blog lately you just can't see all that I've written because I have chosen invisible ink for my posts. No really!!
So what I'd like to do is bring out my brag book. You know what those are don't you? Those little books with photos that parents and grandparents carry around with pictures of their children, grandchildren for all to see. That is what this post is. Pamela's Brag Book!

Let me first start out by saying that Emily has gone back to live with her dad and take up her carpenter belt again. I hope that she will pick up her bass guitar again too as she is so talented in these areas of her life that when she applies herself she is a modern marvel. Her heart is as big as Alaska which is quick to love, but also quick to hurt. And even though she will be 19 soon, I think that if she lets him, her dad could help her channel all of these energies and help her to realize all that she is able to accomplish.

My Jessie is so busy of late that she is surprising even herself at the marvelous talents that she has. She is discovering her strengths and abilities, things that have been long buried. She applies herself to school full time as she is going to be a massage therapist. She is learning all the muscles, nerves, and getting A's in tests involving things I can't even spell. Because she suffered from a birth defect that has since been healed through surgery, she has a great empathy for pain in others and the ability to detect it and to help relieve it in others as well. She is also working at a job as she accomplishes this.

My darling Leah Marie who is carrying my first "blood" grandchild is still living up in Alaska. She is working full time and running a home, and if you knew Leah you'd know she is also trying to help, nurture, care and encourage all those whose lives she touches. She is a person of eternal optimism with great strength in character.

My precious Anna is moving to Barcelona at the end of January. Why? Because she can. There has not been one obstacle in my daughters way that she has not overcome, not endured or persevered through. The reason is because she carries these very attributes within herself along with steadfastness and patience. Nothing that Anna applies herself too is ever done half-assed. You will get all or nothing from that one. While she travels the world my daughter makes short films, documentaries, teaches English and Spanish depending upon where she lives, and has always found a way to support herself because of her skills and talents.  ¶ 12/29/2005 06:06:00 AM 2 comments

  Though I Fall short of the mark....I aspire to

(this is something I found on Johns blog)


Myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

I don’t want to keep on the closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Source unknown  ¶ 12/19/2005 06:48:00 AM 3 comments

  Guess what????







Leah just called from Alaska and.......



My Leah Marie is having a baby boy!!!! I just got off the phone with her and this is so exciting. I have to call Emily at work and tell her. Oh she's going to run and look at little boy clothes I know it. Overalls and boots and truck t-shirts. Leah even mentioned that they might move back down. That would be so wonderful. So awesome!!!!



new baby in May!!!  ¶ 12/15/2005 04:07:00 PM 6 comments

  snow travels Anna took this. You can find it on her flickr. Isn't this so cool? I think it's one of her band photo shoot pics. I'll have to ask her. Damn, she's talented ain't she?

Oh by the way, you guys are so awesome I wish I could hug you all!!! Those for your comments and those by email! Thank you for your support.

I think bartles and james said that, right?
  ¶ 12/13/2005 11:27:00 PM 1 comments

    ¶ 12/12/2005 06:46:00 PM 0 comments

  The Assumptions of Others I've recently encountered something that has been very painful for me. I'm sure that I put more stock in this then I should, but it has been really hard. I will not go into details but I will simply say that I put myself out on the table, so to speak, for someone, and for reasons unknown to me they've simply cast me aside. No explanation, no reason given, just totally obliterated themselves from my life.

The thing that is most painful for me is the fact that they have made assumptions about me, assumptions that I can only guess at. I feel terrible knowing that someone out there is thinking things about me that are not true. I am not given the chance to prove myself, redeem myself or offer any explanation at all. What hurts too I guess is that they don't even want one.

I needed to write this, I needed to tell someone, please don't make assumptions about me. You really don't even know me.  ¶ 12/12/2005 11:16:00 AM 3 comments

  it's only 5:38am and my head is bursting with lyrics from some old songs.

Let's see here,

"what a day today has been"

"looking for love in all the wrong places"

"I'm already there"

"take this job and shove it"

yep, bursting with song today.......

I also got my usual email regarding Illustration Friday's topic for a drawing, this week it is "surprise." I have lots of ideas for that one.
  ¶ 12/09/2005 05:38:00 AM 4 comments

  are you up to it?
  ¶ 12/06/2005 08:49:00 PM 2 comments