Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Imaginings-Ramblings.....
Looking out my window as I write I see the silhouettes of the trees, as far as I can tell there is no color yet. Black and gray like an old movie. Painters can usually find colors where others see none. An example is when things are overcast and looking at the sky and sea it's hard to define what those colors are. I know I've tried to figure it out. There's so much more then just the black and gray but that's what I see this morning. Even as I write this I can see colors forming, the grass getting green, how would I paint that? It's green, I know it's green but what color of green? How would I mix that color? My favorite paintings are usually ones done in pastels. There's something about the texture of the pastel when put on a good grade of paper that I like very much.
I have a picture that Gustav Klimt did, ( I should say cheap poster cut to fit a nice frame), but it's of tall hollyhocks, purples, whites and pinks, against a prairie background. In the left hand corner you can see a small farm. The sky is a mixture of white, grays and blues. I love how he did the pastures. I marvel at how he made the foreground as if you were sitting in amongst the stalks of hollyhocks, and yet through the right colors and perspective you know that the farm is set way back. It sits on the horizon between field and sky. I can picture myself there walking the fields. I love the sound of dirt against my feet, I can smell the air and hear the insects buzzing all around. My face turned to the sun basking in it's warmth.
I have a very good imagination and am good at putting myself in pictures, books and in the shoes of other people. Sometimes this is good, other's not so good. Reading books is where I've done most of my traveling. I have been to Nantucket in the 1800's during the mining of the sperm whale. I walked the streets deserted of men, business' and families all run by the women
left behind for this purpose, while the men hunt the whale. I imagine the foul smell of the decaying whales blowing through curtained windows as children run barefoot through the muck. I've been to Cape Cod as it was settled by the pilgrims back in the 1500's. Their struggle to survive in an untamed land, loosing most of the settlers to winters and starvation. I've sympathized with the Indians as they watched piece by piece of their land inundated with white people. I could go on and on, and maybe another time I will, but I think that's enough for now.
There is a scripture in the bible saying "judge not, lest thou be judged", and I four one can testify to that. Little things throughout my life bring back remembrances of my petty judgments. One of the first I can recall puts me back in someone's kitchen, I was helping a friend babysit. As the children ran around screaming and fussing. The house was a mess. I remember thinking, as I'm trying to sweep cheerios stuck to the floor, that when I have kids I will do so much better then this. Boom, years later, cheerios stuck to the floor, kids unwashed, fussing, the house atrocious, I'm back in that kitchen from years ago thinking I was going to do so much better then that. Looking at a woman who gained weight through the birth of her children and never lost it, I was never going to let that happen to me. Four kids later trying to put on a pair of old levi's, and I'm seeing the woman I had judged. The latest that was very hard for me to face was the fact that" I was never going to live in a mobile home". This said when trying to find a place we could afford. We ended up in a little fish house on a spot of land, (a fish house being a 4 x 8 structure, purpose sitting on frozen lake fishing), no running water, no toilet no nothing for 3 months. When we finally got our 1967 mobile put on this land it became my mansion, my castle and I was so grateful for the luxury's of running water and toilets. This mobile was almost as old as me, but I remember laying in bed and looking at the white ceiling, the windows and just being amazed that I could be so judgmental to think people who lived in mobiles were less, were less then, I can't find the word. Maybe too horrible to think I could have thought it. Anyway, I try to keep judging people far from my mind. It's not something I should do or anyone else for that matter. I just know that I have always found myself in the very shoes that I have judged. I don't want to be there anymore.
¶ 1/18/2005 07:34:00 AM
I have a picture that Gustav Klimt did, ( I should say cheap poster cut to fit a nice frame), but it's of tall hollyhocks, purples, whites and pinks, against a prairie background. In the left hand corner you can see a small farm. The sky is a mixture of white, grays and blues. I love how he did the pastures. I marvel at how he made the foreground as if you were sitting in amongst the stalks of hollyhocks, and yet through the right colors and perspective you know that the farm is set way back. It sits on the horizon between field and sky. I can picture myself there walking the fields. I love the sound of dirt against my feet, I can smell the air and hear the insects buzzing all around. My face turned to the sun basking in it's warmth.
I have a very good imagination and am good at putting myself in pictures, books and in the shoes of other people. Sometimes this is good, other's not so good. Reading books is where I've done most of my traveling. I have been to Nantucket in the 1800's during the mining of the sperm whale. I walked the streets deserted of men, business' and families all run by the women
left behind for this purpose, while the men hunt the whale. I imagine the foul smell of the decaying whales blowing through curtained windows as children run barefoot through the muck. I've been to Cape Cod as it was settled by the pilgrims back in the 1500's. Their struggle to survive in an untamed land, loosing most of the settlers to winters and starvation. I've sympathized with the Indians as they watched piece by piece of their land inundated with white people. I could go on and on, and maybe another time I will, but I think that's enough for now.
There is a scripture in the bible saying "judge not, lest thou be judged", and I four one can testify to that. Little things throughout my life bring back remembrances of my petty judgments. One of the first I can recall puts me back in someone's kitchen, I was helping a friend babysit. As the children ran around screaming and fussing. The house was a mess. I remember thinking, as I'm trying to sweep cheerios stuck to the floor, that when I have kids I will do so much better then this. Boom, years later, cheerios stuck to the floor, kids unwashed, fussing, the house atrocious, I'm back in that kitchen from years ago thinking I was going to do so much better then that. Looking at a woman who gained weight through the birth of her children and never lost it, I was never going to let that happen to me. Four kids later trying to put on a pair of old levi's, and I'm seeing the woman I had judged. The latest that was very hard for me to face was the fact that" I was never going to live in a mobile home". This said when trying to find a place we could afford. We ended up in a little fish house on a spot of land, (a fish house being a 4 x 8 structure, purpose sitting on frozen lake fishing), no running water, no toilet no nothing for 3 months. When we finally got our 1967 mobile put on this land it became my mansion, my castle and I was so grateful for the luxury's of running water and toilets. This mobile was almost as old as me, but I remember laying in bed and looking at the white ceiling, the windows and just being amazed that I could be so judgmental to think people who lived in mobiles were less, were less then, I can't find the word. Maybe too horrible to think I could have thought it. Anyway, I try to keep judging people far from my mind. It's not something I should do or anyone else for that matter. I just know that I have always found myself in the very shoes that I have judged. I don't want to be there anymore.
¶ 1/18/2005 07:34:00 AM
