Monday, September 12, 2005
What am I supposed to do?
There was a few minutes ago a raging seething beastly sound right outside my room. It was incessant, howling, badgering, annoying and needless to say driving me crazy.
It was Christy. She's 9 years old and this is how she reacts to anything anybody might do to her that she doesn't like. Her sister Sherri in a playful/teasing attitude dropped Christy's barbies over the stairs. True, this wasn't very nice, but I don't think it merited the treament the rest of the family got by any means.
It wasn't a second before Ingrid came running up the stairs to yell at Sherri, calling her a terrible and cruel person. Hard words I think for sibling teasing. Anyway after Ingrid is gone back down the stairs Christy continues this noise. She does this while playing with the dolls, just howling away. I ask her to stop nicely, I tell her she sounds like a grizzly bear and would she please stop because it's hurting my ears. This gets me nowhere. She is standing two feet from my door. I head to the bathroom to get some water because I think a good cold splash in the face might bring her to her senses. While I'm gone Emily has covered Christy's mouth and told her to stop it. I come out and douse her with water. This really isn't an assault, were just trying to get her to stop. The rest of the kids are standing around watching, Ingrid comes back up and Christy is able to stop howling long enough to tell her what I did and what Emily did. She is back at the howling, it's a deep guttural growling howling, like an off key siren.
Christy is still howling while Ingrid tells me not to throw water on her, and Emily not to cover her mouth. She tries to get her to calm down but she won't. She keeps howling. Ingrid is bombasting the rest of us as if we are all at fault for Christy's behavior. Sherri shouldn't be cruel, on and on and on.
I'm very frustrated as one might imagine because this is not my child I can't spank her or any other such thing. I thought a cold glass of water to the face might just shut her up for a minute so I could talk to her. It didn't and I couldn't. Christy is now howling in her room.
My advise to the other children was to stay away from her. Don't cause her any aggravation, if she can't deal with the family and all it entails let her feel the isolation of that. Of course I said much more, but probably mostly to hear my self talk as I know kids will be kids and will continue to tease her to get that reaction.
Please someone tell me what you might do in a situation like this? ¶ 9/12/2005 12:58:00 PM
It was Christy. She's 9 years old and this is how she reacts to anything anybody might do to her that she doesn't like. Her sister Sherri in a playful/teasing attitude dropped Christy's barbies over the stairs. True, this wasn't very nice, but I don't think it merited the treament the rest of the family got by any means.
It wasn't a second before Ingrid came running up the stairs to yell at Sherri, calling her a terrible and cruel person. Hard words I think for sibling teasing. Anyway after Ingrid is gone back down the stairs Christy continues this noise. She does this while playing with the dolls, just howling away. I ask her to stop nicely, I tell her she sounds like a grizzly bear and would she please stop because it's hurting my ears. This gets me nowhere. She is standing two feet from my door. I head to the bathroom to get some water because I think a good cold splash in the face might bring her to her senses. While I'm gone Emily has covered Christy's mouth and told her to stop it. I come out and douse her with water. This really isn't an assault, were just trying to get her to stop. The rest of the kids are standing around watching, Ingrid comes back up and Christy is able to stop howling long enough to tell her what I did and what Emily did. She is back at the howling, it's a deep guttural growling howling, like an off key siren.
Christy is still howling while Ingrid tells me not to throw water on her, and Emily not to cover her mouth. She tries to get her to calm down but she won't. She keeps howling. Ingrid is bombasting the rest of us as if we are all at fault for Christy's behavior. Sherri shouldn't be cruel, on and on and on.
I'm very frustrated as one might imagine because this is not my child I can't spank her or any other such thing. I thought a cold glass of water to the face might just shut her up for a minute so I could talk to her. It didn't and I couldn't. Christy is now howling in her room.
My advise to the other children was to stay away from her. Don't cause her any aggravation, if she can't deal with the family and all it entails let her feel the isolation of that. Of course I said much more, but probably mostly to hear my self talk as I know kids will be kids and will continue to tease her to get that reaction.
Please someone tell me what you might do in a situation like this? ¶ 9/12/2005 12:58:00 PM
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Yikes, this kid has problems. You probably should not have thrown the water on her, even for therapeutic reasons. Not that it was 'bad' but some people could/would have you arrested for assault. One has to be very careful with the children of others. This kid.. has she always reacted to anger this way.. howling? I couldn't handle that either. lol
I know it sounds impossible, but I would ignore it. She does this, and gets precisely what she wants: her own way and/or attention. Her mother is reinforcing it by cosseting her and berating anyone who does not. There's nothing you can do about that.
I would either go for a walk if it gets to be too much, or buy earplugs/listen to music with earphones. Learn to tune her out. I agree with Charles though: no more water. Don't touch her. Pretend she doesn't exist when she's like that. I don't see that there's much else you can do about it.
I would either go for a walk if it gets to be too much, or buy earplugs/listen to music with earphones. Learn to tune her out. I agree with Charles though: no more water. Don't touch her. Pretend she doesn't exist when she's like that. I don't see that there's much else you can do about it.
First buy a set of earplugs and place them in your ears. Then crank up the radio as loud as it will go preferably on a station everyone hates. It might take a few times but the message is there for all to hear - you annoy me and I'll annoy you.
Ralph
Ralph
I have found something that works wonders!!!
I have become actively involved in their home schooling and I have found this child loves someone to listen to her talk, look her in the eyes, help her with some things like brushing her hair, etc. In the past week and a half she has only screamed once, which is a major break through.
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I have become actively involved in their home schooling and I have found this child loves someone to listen to her talk, look her in the eyes, help her with some things like brushing her hair, etc. In the past week and a half she has only screamed once, which is a major break through.
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